When I'm about to get with a woman, I want to do my best to ensure both of us come out of the encounter satisfied and looking forward to the next rendezvous. A good general philosophy is: In life, whatever you do, do it well.
Applied to a player, that might be altered to whomever you do, do her well. Always bring your "A" game for the best results -- and the best chance of a repeat encounter.
So once sex with a certain woman is no longer in question, these are the things I keep in mind or just naturally apply.
Touch her before you kiss her. A kiss as a first form of physical contact will come as a surprise, which is not what you want.
Physically speaking, things should feel like they're developing naturally, almost inevitably. So make sure to get some casual contact in throughout the pickup or foreplay -- a squeeze on the arm, a hand run across her back, a gentle shoulder rub. Then the kiss will seem like the next logical step. The purpose here is to arouse her.
Kiss her softly at first, not like an animal. Kissing is not only key to making her want to sleep with you in the first place, but also sets the tone once the sexual act has begun. Women often take physical cues on how good a man is in bed from two things: his dancing and his kissing. If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, the female access route is most often her lips.
Once you've kissed her, keep in mind that the intensity of the sexual act should gradually build. Make her warm up to you with caressing. Start off by running your fingers over the skin of her arms and shoulders, then gradually apply more of your palms to her upper and lower back. Kissing can start lightly, then get deeper and more passionate. You'll find yourself doing this consciously at first, then after a few times, it'll just happen.
Remain a challenge throughout. Just because you're leading things doesn't mean you have to be overeager. Remain cool, not to the point of not enjoying yourself, of course, but never resemble an excited little kid either. Be slow, smooth and deliberate with your movements, like James Bond would. If you combine good technique with a pace just a bit slower than you'd naturally take, she'll be begging for it.
When you get her over to your place, music is key . Ask her if she has any requests, which she often won't, then put on some soft jazz. If drinks are like liquid panty remover, then jazz, and especially saxophone jazz, is the same thing aurally. Have a decent stereo (and surround sound) for the full effect.
Your place should be stylishly decorated from a female point of view. Have some framed posters or photos on the walls and make sure the lighting is adjustable with dimmer switches to mirror -- or set -- the mood.
In general, the place should be tasteful. Since that's pretty general and subjective, let's use the guideline that it should look more like a home than a place you crash. Women like a nicely decorated home more than just a functional pad, and will feel more relaxed in one, which adds up to fewer inhibitions and better sex.
It's good to have something you do sexually that pleases women and that isn't straight out of a textbook. If you pay special attention to certain erogenous zones -- the inner thighs, say, or the ears -- you'll get good at pleasing women in that spot. Master the ear licking/blowing combo, neck caressing and/or biting, or back kissing, and the majority of women will become weak at the knees.
It's important that your signature move is perfectly executed. Any thoughts even the most jaded playerette may have, such as "oh, here we go, he's going for the neck kiss," will soon melt away if you do it well.
Many men have heard that slower is better for the woman, but I like to take that idea far. Staying penetrated all the way, grind your pubic bones together in a rotation to stimulate her clitoris so that your hips get a rhythm going. From there you can gradually move to a wider range of motion, combining it with thrusts once again. This always gets me very excited, and the difference between hard and very hard is a significant one for both men and women.
Take it slow at first; the biggest turnoff for women is a guy who dives straight to the clitoris. I generally think of it as homing in on that target, starting at erogenous zones farthest from the area -- the lips, neck, breasts, and even feet and calves -- then moving to the inner thighs, the pubic mound, the outer lips and, after at least a few minutes, the clitoris.
The Doggy Greet is a good, uncommon move. While doing it doggy style, stop what you're doing and start performing oral sex on her, either kneeling or lying on your back under her. This is a way to catch her up to your near-climax state, the better to encourage the Holy Grail of intercourse: the simultaneous orgasm.
Most men, once into doggy style, will go straight to climax. By breaking up intercourse this way, you show her you really value her good time as well.
Note: Be sure to trust your partner before performing oral sex on her. Ensure that she doesn't have any STDs. Many men only cover up for intercourse, but all sexual contact presents risks.
Take charge during sex. If you've set the mood successfully with your kisses, she'll do as you wish.
Subtly maneuver her body into a variety of positions. Keep your arsenal full of ideas. But do remember that if you change things up too often, you'll kill the arousal momentum you've got going. Women get off best when a certain rhythm is maintained for a while, just as men do.
Paying special attention to her erogenous zones will tell her you're there to please her , and she'll be happy to follow the leader. It will also encourage her to do the same.
Finish the job and satisfy her in bed. Give her what she wants. You can make her orgasm either before you do, or afterwards . Putting her orgasm before your own definitely makes you seem more generous and it allows you time to relax when you're done, which is what most guys naturally want to do.
You could get her off orally, or by masturbating her while paying attention to other parts of her body with your lips and free hand. Being good at masturbating women to orgasm is one of the best aces I have up my sleeve. It's quick, effective and can be used virtually anywhere.
Keep in mind that women can orgasm multiple times in rapid succession. Do that for her the first time and you're virtually guaranteed a return visit.
Men always worry about satisfying women, but women should also do their best to satisfy us .
If you've already managed to get her off and she's the unselfish type, then she'll be happy to take requests. Most women are eager to please and are happy to be guided toward what works best for you.
Personally, I like a woman to undress me while we make out, then strip for me while I lie on the bed, watching and waiting. Following that with oral sex, where my legs are wrapped around her back, is a sweet route to take and I'm not too shy to make that request.
I generally insist that the woman get her hips going in sync with mine, rather than letting them be stationary objects for me to stab at. If she doesn't know too much about this, simply reassure her that the enjoyment for both of you is well worth the effort.
Get what you want, but don't be too commanding on the first night with a woman... unless she's into that.
So now that you know what it takes to make women crazy in bed, you can slowly begin to improve your skills.
Remember, it's much easier -- and generally more satisfying -- to see a woman again than go out and pick up another. Going from good to great sex between partners does take practice and you'll improve your technique much faster if you get access to the same woman a few times, so that you can figure out what she does and doesn't like.
So stay sharp for future dates. Sharp and covered, that is.