Swingers have a bad rap in some parts of our society. You may have heard from non-swingers that swingers are sinful at worst, or at best, are people who are not capable of making a real commitment. Research into swinging couples, however, shows something very different. Most couples that swing lead very happy marriages where there is a great deal of emotional commitment. Many of these couples credit swinging for playing a large part in their ability to maintain a healthy relationship. Swingers are honest. They do not wish to cheat on their partners and don't. Swinging lifestyle is for the most part very trusting. They would not be able to swing if they were constantly jealous. Swing want for both their partners and themselves to have the opportunity for find sexual freedom and pleasure.
So, why does a couple choose to swing if they are in a healthy relationship? Most swingers come to realize that although they love their partner very much and want to be with them forever, they don't want to have sex with only their partner. They know that about 50% of marriages end in divorce and they do not desire to be part of that statistic. But they also want some sexual diversity. They want to add a little spice to their sex life. Maybe they want something sexually that their partner doesn't, for example anal or oral sex or BDSM (diverse range of sexual and sensual activities such Bondage, Domination Sadomasochism and others). Maybe they just need a little sexual thrill to keep the spark alive. Maybe they feel that marriage breeds a sense of ownership, sexism, and enmeshment that they do not desire in their relationship. They may believe that restricting either themselves or their partner to one sexual partner for the rest of their lives is oppressive. This is where the desire to swing comes in.
There are two types of swingers, the recreational swingers (soft swingers) and the utopian swingers. The recreational swingers view swinging as a social activity, much like playing tennis or golf, or going out to the movies. Although they may make emotional attachments and friendships through swinging, they might do the same thing golfing but find swinging more pleasurable. Utopian swingers are swinging because they believe that marriage is inherently oppressive due to its dependence on a lack of freedom and the existence of control over one's partner. They do not wish for either their partner or for themselves to experience this type of oppression. Therefore, although they may have made a lifetime commitment to their partner (or they may not have due to their sociopolitical analysis), they want to allow their relationship to be as free as possible. Swinging is one way to make a relationship less restrictive and oppressive.
Most swingers report that swinging actually makes their relationship even stronger than before. They already had a relationship based on communication and honesty, where they could discuss anything, including their sexual fantasies, in an open manner. Once they begin swinging they find that their sex life usually improves. They find that seeing their mate experience intense sexual pleasure is a turn-on. They find that knowing that they or their partner has another partner is a real sexual thrill. They often find that once they have abandoned one societal restriction, monogamy, that they can then abandon other societal sexual restrictions as well and feel more free in the bedroom to do what really makes them and their partner all hot and bothered. Usually what swingers find is that after both they and their partner have been with someone else, they want nothing more than to be intensely sexual with their partner and find the experience more pleasing than before.
Most swingers agree that swinging is not for everyone. People in relationships that are ending or are on the rocks are probably not good candidates for swinging. Relationships where either one or both people have strong tendencies toward jealousy are not good candidates either. It is important for swingers to have a high level of communication and trust in their relationships. For that reason I believe that swinging is contraindicated for couples that are recovering from infidelity. The point of swinging is to be free but is not to cheat. Dishonest people do not make good swingers. Swinging is usually not for people who believe that you should only have sex after developing a strong emotional commitment with your partner. Swinging is intended to enhance pleasure, so if it causes more stress than pleasure for you, then maybe you are not ready to join the lifestyle just yet. Maybe you need to read our article for newbies, Swinging for Begginers. Also check out the common swinging terms and some acronyms you should know before entering swinging lifestyle.
Swinging is one way to free up your relationship, spice it up, heat it up, and keep it up. When utilized by the right couples in a healthy way swinging seems to help maintain healthy relationships. Swinging is one way to both enhance your sexual pleasure and your commitment to someone else and their freedom and pleasure as well. Swinging is a wonderful way to enjoy yourself, your body, someone else's body and pleasure, and your partner's body and pleasure, without violating a commitment or marriage vow.