So what can you expect to happen the first time you go to a swing event? That is going to depend on the type of event. Most larger areas have night clubs that aim to meet the swinging couple's needs. Typically most swing clubs host dances or other events to help the attendees get to know each other and get all hot and bothered. If you attend a swinging dance club expect the music to be loud, the alcohol to be flowing, and to see a lot of dirty dancing, making out, etc. Don't expect to see full blown sex on the dance floor since it is illegal to allow sex at a bar or drinking establishment in most states. What you will see is probably a lot of people having fun, flirting, and getting really turned on. The atmosphere may feel very sexually charged.
If you are looking for something a bit lower key without the loud music, the bar scene, etc., you might want to attend a house party such as a hot tub party or hotel dinner/mixer instead of a swing dance club. Usually at a hot tub party or dinner it is a lot quieter with fewer people. This type of event often allows for more personal interaction and relationship development. You will have the opportunity to get to know other couples better through conversation before moving into a more sexual realm.
Keep in mind that you don't have to swing or have sex to attend a swing club or event. Swinging is all about doing what feels good, and that requires consent. This means that you can move slowly, and choose to just check a place out the first time while planning on not having a sexual encounter. It is also up to you once you meet another couple in whom you are interested whether you want to get to know them initially and first develop a friendship or whether you want to initiate plans for getting together to have sex. Different swingers like to handle this differently, based on which feels better to them.
Often club or party hosts will want you to meet with them ahead of time or attend an orientation first if you are new to the lifestyle. This will allow you to find out any club rules that may exist and will also allow the host to clarify if both parties understand what the goal of the club is. Since honesty, communication, and consent are so important to swinging, this helps to guarantee that both parties are fully knowledgeable consenting adults and that there won't be any surprises. This also means that before the event you have the opportunity to have some questions answered, which you find reassuring or soothing.
If you are new to the lifestyle you may find that at first others are hesitant to approach you. This is because there is an unspoken rule that it is a good idea to let new folks enter the lifestyle gently, getting their feet wet at their own pace. The resistance to immediately approaching newcomers helps to prevent scaring away new people. If you are wanting to jump right in, however, and not just dip your toes in, this can seem a bit frustrating. The solution is to be very outgoing and sociable yourself and begin to initiate contacts by asking someone to dance, starting a conversation, flirting like crazy, etc. Not only will this send others in attendance the right message, but especially if you are a woman, it may allow you to practice being socially and sexually assertive, which may be a new role for you. And you may find that you really like being assertive once you get over your initial fears. Others in attendance will usually quickly take notice of an outgoing newcomer and will then know that you are enthusiastic and aren't easily scared away. Probably they will then begin to approach you to initiate contact.
Whether you choose to jump right in and quickly initiate a sexual encounter or get to know a new couple or two for awhile without taking it to the next level, as long as you have made a choice you are comfortable with, you have done everything right, so don't worry. The one regret that plagues many new couples in the lifestyle is that they wish they hadn't drunk so much alcohol at their first swing event. A little bit of alcohol lowers our inhibitions a bit and allows us to feel a bit more brave. However, if the only way you can feel sexually liberated is to be drunk, then you may not be ready for the lifestyle just yet. When intoxicated it is harder to sexually perform, it is impossible to give a legal consent, it is more difficult to know what you really want, and is much more difficult to remember what you did later. It is best to remain sober at an event if you wish to fully appreciate your initial experience.
A lot of couples like to know what swinging sex is like. Typically it is very exciting because it adds diversity to your sex life. If you have been monogamous for a long time it may be very refreshing to have sex with other partners without breaking a commitment or lying. It may also be a huge turn on to see your partner having enjoyable sex with someone else. There is no one type of swinging sex. Usually swingers emphasize arousal and foreplay and do not rush the process to achieve orgasm. Sexual touch and massage is very popular, as is nipple fondling and oral sex. Toys may be incorporated in the activity and there are a variety of sexual positions that may be used if found pleasurable. The thing to remember is that sexuality has no rules. There is no wrong or right sex play or activity. If it feels good and is safe, then it is fair game. Since swingers have liberated themselves from one of our society's strongest taboos, polyamory, they may feel freer to liberate themselves from other sexual taboos as wel